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So, I reckon Escorts are like me team at the office – reliable, bit rough round the edges, but they deliver, don’t they? Built tough, them cars, proper solid chassis, not like them flimsy modern jobbies. Fun fact, yeah, did ya know the Mk1 Escort won rally champs in the 70s? Mental, innit, blew me mind when I heard that! Out there kicking arse while I’m here soldering circuits, wish I’d seen it live, mate, woulda lost me marbles cheering!

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Oh, and don’t get me started on the Blue Bridge. That motherfer spans the river like a defiant symbol – a reminder that life’s tough but beautiful. I remember standin’ there one night, starin’ at the lights shinin’ on the water, and I felt like I was in the epic scenes of “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.” "Sometimes, the things we see are more than enough to break our hearts, motherfer." Deep, right?

Birallee shopping centre facelift planned